the first wedding i've ever attended was my uncle's. i was a mere 4yrs and was a cute little flower girl.. then i grew a bit older and at 9, was again made flower girl..
weddings of aunties and uncles soon turned into cousins, and before i can even bat an eyelash, my very own brother is getting married! it somehow feels a whole lot different when one of your own flesh is geting married and moving on...
i went for a gown fitting with my bro and his fiance to help pick out the wedding dress. it was a fun process helping her pick the gowns. but in the midst of the fitting my pastor's wife would ask, "so, when is your turn fiona?" ...it doesnt help that the bride to be is merely a couple of months older and already getting hitched..
just when i thought my brother's fiance had finished with her fitting, she suggested i try bridemaid gowns! i was like "shucks!" suddenly the attention was switched to me. somehow i felt like a little kid trying to dress up in mummy's clothes... it didnt feel right. that feeling of being too young to be in this position.
it's scary how time just flies and my big kor kor is getting married and starting his own family. ...when i stepped out of the fitting room, questions and remarks started coming again. by this time my pastor and some aunty from church was there too and he asked the same question as his wife. everyone was asking "do you feel INSPIRED?! it'll be your turn soon!"
and as for me, i'm cringing inside wondering "so, when is MY turn fiona?" why must all aunties ALWAYS ask these sort of questions?! i know age is catching up but i still feel like daddy's little girl...
Monday, January 29, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
faith or flesh? ...& the battle between
sometimes living in faith can be quite challenging..
and seemingly futile when you've been spending the past couple of years praying as a family for God to come through for us.
it's been hard when faith level have often times been so low for us. Im glad for parents who've been so strong for us. they too have their share of discouragements and my faith wavers seeing them in their lows but ultimately we know we cant give up and there's no other way out but through Him. although, i am glad we're in this together as a family.. blood will always be thicker than water.
as of late, sometimes i dunno what i should be doing. if i were to face facts, i'd be quite burdened. but if i were to simply live life, deny circumstances and live like everyone, i might come out of this simply missing the mark, missing the whole point of what God is doing in our lives as a family and individually..
how does one keep up the faith when i have with me so much of doubt?
this is me in flesh:
...i've tried but somehow my heart is not here in singapore..unlike in aussie, i dont have the support of a church and the people around me. So if it's not going to be back to adelaide for school in july i have nothing else holding me to singapore. i would want to try getting a work visa for australia but i doubt i can. so, my alternative is to go to canada on my own first, clock in some time there and with PR it'll be easier to get a job..hopefully??? i really don't know..
this is me in faith:
"Lord! i have Nothing! Nothing else matters so if it's not going to be of You or from You i'd rather not have it. Your Will be done...I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
do you ever feel you need something to grasp? when living in faith is just the total opposite......
when the only thing you can cling on to are His Words? Thank God He is so much Bigger than what we can even grasp or imagine 'cause it's never going to be enough if i act or base decisions made by my flesh.so whilst i know what i want and how to plan plan plan, just as well that i've not been given that position. rather, i've been placed where my reliance is not on my own formulated "back-up plan", & stripped of the people who would hold mere pity-parties... but a reliance fully on Him!
*chuckles* tough one!
so if you're reading this, now would be a good time to say a little prayer for my family and i 'cause i think we need that just about now.
---------------------------
& As reminder to me...
Matt 6:31-34
31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
NIV
Prov 19:21
21 Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
NIV
and seemingly futile when you've been spending the past couple of years praying as a family for God to come through for us.
it's been hard when faith level have often times been so low for us. Im glad for parents who've been so strong for us. they too have their share of discouragements and my faith wavers seeing them in their lows but ultimately we know we cant give up and there's no other way out but through Him. although, i am glad we're in this together as a family.. blood will always be thicker than water.
as of late, sometimes i dunno what i should be doing. if i were to face facts, i'd be quite burdened. but if i were to simply live life, deny circumstances and live like everyone, i might come out of this simply missing the mark, missing the whole point of what God is doing in our lives as a family and individually..
how does one keep up the faith when i have with me so much of doubt?
this is me in flesh:
...i've tried but somehow my heart is not here in singapore..unlike in aussie, i dont have the support of a church and the people around me. So if it's not going to be back to adelaide for school in july i have nothing else holding me to singapore. i would want to try getting a work visa for australia but i doubt i can. so, my alternative is to go to canada on my own first, clock in some time there and with PR it'll be easier to get a job..hopefully??? i really don't know..
this is me in faith:
"Lord! i have Nothing! Nothing else matters so if it's not going to be of You or from You i'd rather not have it. Your Will be done...I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
do you ever feel you need something to grasp? when living in faith is just the total opposite......
when the only thing you can cling on to are His Words? Thank God He is so much Bigger than what we can even grasp or imagine 'cause it's never going to be enough if i act or base decisions made by my flesh.so whilst i know what i want and how to plan plan plan, just as well that i've not been given that position. rather, i've been placed where my reliance is not on my own formulated "back-up plan", & stripped of the people who would hold mere pity-parties... but a reliance fully on Him!
*chuckles* tough one!
so if you're reading this, now would be a good time to say a little prayer for my family and i 'cause i think we need that just about now.
---------------------------
& As reminder to me...
Matt 6:31-34
31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
NIV
Prov 19:21
21 Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
NIV
Friday, January 19, 2007
sometimes things just happen
on top of feeling stressed about how my current family situation this is what i had to deal with...
last night i found out one of my grand uncles passed away and was annoyed that my parents didnt tell me about it and went to the wake without me. then my brother came home and i noticed a huge bright red wound on near his elbow. everytime my brother falls it breaks my heart to watch him struggle to get up and always refuses to let us help him. most times i wish i could just piggy-back him rather than see him struggle. this time he said he fell on the road. i felt guilty for not being there to help him when i should have been. i dont know what road but i'm glad it wasnt a road with traffic and more importantly God has kept him safe.
this morning on my way to work whilst on the bus, i saw a dead cat on the road that got hit by traffic. i felt so sorry for the poor cat. then on my way back close to midnight i witnessed a motocycle accident. the sight of the guy lying on the ground with his shirt ripped at the shoulder scratched and bleeding, a huge pink flesh wound on his head the size of my fists and a small pool of blood on the road, traumatised me!
i wanted to run down from the upper deck of the bus and lay hands and pray for him man. it was all i felt could be of any help. but the guy was conscious and got up and walked out of the road. i wanted to cry then. i was already stressed to begin with. maybe i've had too much of death & blood for 2 days.
i cried walking home, cried out to God cuz sometimes in our own flesh we have no control of what happens around us. absolutely none. zilch. zero. and it's frustrating. it's so frustrating when everything around you seems to be taking place but you in your earthly being can physically do nothing but pray and keep focus on Him...
last night i found out one of my grand uncles passed away and was annoyed that my parents didnt tell me about it and went to the wake without me. then my brother came home and i noticed a huge bright red wound on near his elbow. everytime my brother falls it breaks my heart to watch him struggle to get up and always refuses to let us help him. most times i wish i could just piggy-back him rather than see him struggle. this time he said he fell on the road. i felt guilty for not being there to help him when i should have been. i dont know what road but i'm glad it wasnt a road with traffic and more importantly God has kept him safe.
this morning on my way to work whilst on the bus, i saw a dead cat on the road that got hit by traffic. i felt so sorry for the poor cat. then on my way back close to midnight i witnessed a motocycle accident. the sight of the guy lying on the ground with his shirt ripped at the shoulder scratched and bleeding, a huge pink flesh wound on his head the size of my fists and a small pool of blood on the road, traumatised me!
i wanted to run down from the upper deck of the bus and lay hands and pray for him man. it was all i felt could be of any help. but the guy was conscious and got up and walked out of the road. i wanted to cry then. i was already stressed to begin with. maybe i've had too much of death & blood for 2 days.
i cried walking home, cried out to God cuz sometimes in our own flesh we have no control of what happens around us. absolutely none. zilch. zero. and it's frustrating. it's so frustrating when everything around you seems to be taking place but you in your earthly being can physically do nothing but pray and keep focus on Him...
Monday, January 08, 2007
Catch me if you can
check out this remake OF "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN" by my one and only cousin, JONATHAN FOO!!!
he's the one playing leonardo di caprio's conman role in the clip
how cool is this man! SO PROUD OF HIM!
not to mention he's cute too lah.
ladies, any takers? *winks*
Tom Yum Goong Tony Jaa Ong Bak Star Jon Foo Swordsman Scene
More of my cousin!
He's the swordsman here in this clip. he's the coolest lah!
did i mention he's in jackie chan's stunt team too?!!
check him out at:
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