faith or flesh? ...& the battle between

sometimes living in faith can be quite challenging..
and seemingly futile when you've been spending the past couple of years praying as a family for God to come through for us.

it's been hard when faith level have often times been so low for us. Im glad for parents who've been so strong for us. they too have their share of discouragements and my faith wavers seeing them in their lows but ultimately we know we cant give up and there's no other way out but through Him. although, i am glad we're in this together as a family.. blood will always be thicker than water.

as of late, sometimes i dunno what i should be doing. if i were to face facts, i'd be quite burdened. but if i were to simply live life, deny circumstances and live like everyone, i might come out of this simply missing the mark, missing the whole point of what God is doing in our lives as a family and individually..

how does one keep up the faith when i have with me so much of doubt?


this is me in flesh:
...i've tried but somehow my heart is not here in singapore..unlike in aussie, i dont have the support of a church and the people around me. So if it's not going to be back to adelaide for school in july i have nothing else holding me to singapore. i would want to try getting a work visa for australia but i doubt i can. so, my alternative is to go to canada on my own first, clock in some time there and with PR it'll be easier to get a job..hopefully??? i really don't know..


this is me in faith:
"Lord! i have Nothing! Nothing else matters so if it's not going to be of You or from You i'd rather not have it. Your Will be done...I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"


do you ever feel you need something to grasp? when living in faith is just the total opposite......
when the only thing you can cling on to are His Words? Thank God He is so much Bigger than what we can even grasp or imagine 'cause it's never going to be enough if i act or base decisions made by my flesh.so whilst i know what i want and how to plan plan plan, just as well that i've not been given that position. rather, i've been placed where my reliance is not on my own formulated "back-up plan", & stripped of the people who would hold mere pity-parties... but a reliance fully on Him!
*chuckles* tough one!


so if you're reading this, now would be a good time to say a little prayer for my family and i 'cause i think we need that just about now.

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& As reminder to me...

Matt 6:31-34
31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
NIV

Prov 19:21
21 Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
NIV